Robert
Robert is a chef. He lives with his wife and primary school-aged children. He describes his ethnicity as white.
In May 2020 Robert completely lost his sense of taste and smell which profoundly affected his appetite and his daily work. His symptoms have persisted and he wonders whether his sense of smell and taste will ever return. He hasn’t sought or received any professional support. Robert was interviewed in April 2021.
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He completely lost his sense of taste and smell early in the pandemic, although at the time these weren’t recognised as symptoms of Covid. The first smells that he experienced again were petrol-like and seemed to be always in the background. He thinks he may be getting a little flavour back after working hard to taste and smell things. Some things now smell different and unpleasant. He has found it frustrating and at times bewildering.
He knows other people who have had similar symptoms, but he doesn’t know anyone whose symptoms have lasted such a long time. His symptoms have affected his desire to eat and his enjoyment of food. Without the smell and taste, eating can be like ‘chewing on Play-Doh’. He has lost some of his enjoyment of his job. He used to particularly enjoy seasoning food, so that it ‘sings’. He now has to rely on his staff to help him tell whether food is well seasoned.
He describes some days as being better than others in terms of detecting tastes and smell, but his biggest concern is not knowing whether his senses will return: ‘it’s hard to deal with not knowing if it’s temporary or if it’s going to be there forever.’
His wife bought a recipe book – with around a dozen recipes for people with Long Covid - which he found helpful in some ways. He has also tried taking fish oil tablets and anti-inflammatory nasal sprays.
Robert has tried to find information about his condition by ‘Googling’, with limited success: ‘no one seems to have a clue’. He hasn’t sought professional support because he believes ‘there’s no answers coming from anyone yet’. His advice to others in his position is ‘don’t give up hope’.
Robert describes trying to make sense of very faint or strange and unpleasant tastes and smells that have begun to come back. Whisky, white bread and hand sanitiser smell the same to him now. He doesn’t feel “quite in tune with everything”.
Robert describes trying to make sense of very faint or strange and unpleasant tastes and smells that have begun to come back. Whisky, white bread and hand sanitiser smell the same to him now. He doesn’t feel “quite in tune with everything”.
Now I get a lot of different kinds of, I get replacement smells now as opposed to a lack of smell. So, you know, onions and garlic are a, a good one. I think that’s been identified by a few people now. They are, they come out as, like, a weird blocking smell. It’s the only way I can describe it is, kind of like, stale old dusty potpourri with a hint of rotten mouse. Which, I know it sounds weird, but have you ever had a rodent or anything like that go in a house or something. There’s a, there’s a sweetness, the smell of it, and that, that’s in there as well and it’s very strange indeed. And that comes through, and I haven't identified everything yet but with the onions and garlic removed, it’s made a big difference because you can, there are other bits you can taste and it’s very, very, very sharp and clear [audio breaks up], you don’t get [audio breaks up] or anything like that at all. It’s very, [audio breaks up], if you know what I mean. With the other flavours, the other blocking smells and then you tend not to taste the smell, taste, sorry, taste anything apart from, like, the onion and garlic. Weird, sort of, edge, sort of, smell. If that makes sense? [Laugh].
So, when you say a blocking taste or smell, does that mean you can experience those but it’s drowning out everything else?
Yes, it’s like the same smell, from the onions and garlic and then I get off swede at the minute as well. But it’s the same smell or the same, sort of, taste. It’s always the same sort of flavour that comes through which isn't anything to do with what you’re eating. It’s not an attractive, it’s not a pleasant taste or smell. I'm talking more about taste at the minute. But it not any, you don’t get any pleasure from it. It’s kind of, meh, it’s slightly unpleasant at best basically. And that’s about it. So yeah, it is kind of, strange.
When, you remove some of those, bits, I do get very faint bits of flavour coming through. I mean, you get salt and sweet, vinegar, vinegar is a good one. Like a packet of, salt and vinegar [audio breaks up] enjoy now, but it’s because I get the sharpness of the salt the vinegar. But I don’t get the real depth of the flavour. I don’t taste the potato in the crisp and things like that. But it’s almost recognisable but it’s not quite there.
So, yeah, it’s a weird one. With the, with the smell as well, smell’s a funny one because there’s the blocking taste thing backs up in, with the smell as well. So, if I smell onions and garlic, it tastes exactly the same as I smell. But then lots of other smells, it’s like, put a glass of whisky in front of me, a bottle of hand sanitiser and a loaf of white bread, they all smell exactly the same. It’s like the ethanol in the hand [sanitiser bottle]. And in the, in the whisky I can smell, but none of the other flavours. And then weirdly, I presume it’s the additives in the bread. In like a cheap white loaf, say. Because you open that up and it smells like a, like a solvent almost. Or like ethanol almost. But I guess that’s already there. But the bread smells add to it or mask it. So, when you actually smell it normally you, you don't get just that. But it, it’s weird how some have just completely gone and then you, you do get, sort of, strong whiffs of other things. Hand, like, hand sanitiser’s a weird one. I can smell it from miles off when someone puts it on, just the, the alcohol. And I used to have a lot of, solvent-y, sort of, petrol-y type of flavour, smells. They were the first ones to come in after I lost my sense of smell and taste completely.
It sounds as if it’s very tiring because it sounds like you’ve been trying to analyse every food stuff?
You’re trying to find it everywhere because you know it’s there, if you know what I mean, you know. You know when you smell a pack of smoked bacon that it’s, it’s in there and then sometimes you can, you get a little waft of it. But then you can smell it again and you don’t. And that’s weird because it’s like, is that a memory or is that actually bacon that’s making me smell like that because why can't I smell it again then. And it was never a strong smell. It’s always very, very faint. But it’s, yeah, it is. And it, kind of, even in day-to-day life because you’re walking around and you’ve lost, you know, a whole sense, or two, you know, depending on how you look at it [laugh]. But, like, so your, kind of, your environment doesn’t necessarily back up, you know, you’re used to walking down the street and you’ll get smell, smells and bits and bobs, be them nice or not, as you’re walking around. You’ll see things and then you’ll get a smell of a car or something and it’ll back it up, and things like that. You don’t, there’s a hint of numbness about it almost, like, within, when you’re walking around because you’re not, it’s a bit like having your earphones on walking down the road, you’re not quite in tune with everything like you were before. Which is quite unpleasant.
Robert had not experienced any significant improvement to his sense of taste and smell. He finds it difficult to deal with the uncertainty of whether his sense of smell and taste will return to normal.
Robert had not experienced any significant improvement to his sense of taste and smell. He finds it difficult to deal with the uncertainty of whether his sense of smell and taste will return to normal.
But, you know, it’s, kind of, you’ve got to try and, I don’t know, hope, hope it comes back as well. I mean, yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know what you can do really. There’s not a lot you can do at the minute, is there?
No, I mean, you talked about this recipe book. Is that something that has been developed by somebody who has had similar symptoms themselves?
Yeah, I’ve just, I'll [inaudible]. It’s sponsored actually by, obviously, it’s just something my wife got online and they, the first sort of few, few copies, and it’s just purely for long Covid, sort of, symptoms. So, it’s just got about ten, twelve, thirteen different recipes in it. Which is a, just seems to be quite good to try out, so, I've tried a couple of them out and they're quite nice. There’s a good, like a, they call it an ‘Any Salad Dressing’ so basically, it’s a nice vinegary salty salad dressing that you can stick on stuff and it gives it a nice hit. But the trouble is it’s all, none of it’s real. None of it’s getting, none of it’s getting your taste and smell back. And it’s, kind of, like, looking for little ways around it and things like that. And the underlying thing that sits in you is the fact that all this stuff isn't, I'm not getting my taste and smell back basically [laugh]. You know, it’s, kind of, you know, you can look for other things that spark you a little bit but, it’s just a bit depressing [laugh] I suppose that you, you don’t, sort of, there doesn’t seem to be anything you can do about it. You don’t know how long it’s going to last. You don’t know whether it’s going to come back. You don’t whether it, you know, if it’s going to come back in part of not or, or what really. So, it’s, sort of, almost, sort of, just waiting really.
And how’s that changed over the months? Did you feel like you were, sort of, anticipating every day, would it be back today, or…?
No, no, not, not really. I mean, I accepted that it was what it was and that’s what, that’s what it is until, until it changes basically. But always checking to see if it changes. but, yeah, it’s, not like a daily thing you wake up and go, oh I haven't got my sense of taste and smell. You, kind of, almost forget it because you’re not getting anything, any feedback in there. So after a while, it's just, there’s nothing making you go, oh I haven't got any sense of taste and smell, because it’s, you know, there’s no, sort of, spark in there. It’s not like you're smelling horrible things particularly or anything like that, so you kind of almost forget about it. And then go, oh gosh, yeah, I can't, and then when it comes down to something where you actually need to use it, you realise that it’s not there so much. But then I feel, I do feel like some days, I have, are better than others. So, I don’t feel like some days I can, it might be all the different food I'm cooking and stuff, but some days I feel like I can get it a bit more. And other days I feel like it’s just completely gone.
And it’s just, yeah, it’s a difficult one to have to, sort of, you don't know whether you have to, if I knew I was never going to get it back, then I, I would deal, or if I knew that I could probably get it back, that’ll be enough to get your head round it, I think, you know. You, if I know it’s never coming back, okay, you get your head round it and, you know, that’s, that’s the way it is, you, but if you, if you knew you were going to get it back, then again that, that would be nice. But it’s just the, kind of, this is what’s happened. You know, what’s going to happen now, you know, and what’s going to happen next week. Is it a, you know, it might, should I expect to have it come back, should, you know, is going to or not? And it’s, sort of, that, sort of, definition would be really nice. Because it could help you get on with it a bit more, if you know what I mean.
So, living with the uncertainty of it all is a, an extra downside to it, is that what you’re saying?
Yeah. Yeah. Because you can't, it’s harder to deal with what it is, if you know what I mean. Is it a temporary thing or is it a, yeah, is it going to be there forever. It, it’s, yeah. I mean, I’d rather it wasn’t there forever but if it is going to be there, there forever, I’d like to know.
Very much, you know. It’d be like, right, okay, you know, if you’ve got, you’ve got, get on with it[laugh]. You know, you’ve got to try and work something out with this. Whereas if you know it’s coming back then it’s, kind of, well grin and bear it for a bit, you know, maybe or, or, you know, it’s not so bad. But, yeah, some, sort of like, indication would be good.
Robert was unable to find any information that would give him some hope that he might be able to regain his sense of taste and smell.
Robert was unable to find any information that would give him some hope that he might be able to regain his sense of taste and smell.
What other sources of information generally speaking have you been able to find?
Not much really. Just, I mean, I just started Googling it really and things like that. And just, and then there’s nothing particularly, there’s nothing really out there that’s kind of, that I don’t know already having had it. Okay, if I hadn’t had it, fair enough but because I'm, that’s what it is to me. It’s, kind of, more like, this is a thing that happens, oh, you know, it must, it feels a bit like this, blah, blah, blah. Okay. But I know that.
But there doesn’t seem to be, there’s no, like, sort of, “Do this exercise three times a day and it’ll help improve it” or anything like that particularly. It’s all, kind of, a bit wishy-washy about what to do.
So, yeah, that’s the, it’s all outlined but it’s, kind of, there was, doesn’t, I haven't heard of anyone going, “oh yeah, I lost my sense of smell and taste for a year, but I got it back.” You know, that’ll be really nice to hear [laugh]. Just, to give you a, just to give you a bit of hope.
Robert found it particularly challenging to carry out his job as a chef after losing his sense of taste and smell. He described losing some of the pleasure of his job.
Robert found it particularly challenging to carry out his job as a chef after losing his sense of taste and smell. He described losing some of the pleasure of his job.
I don’t get anywhere near the enjoyment I used to get out. I mean, it’s a hard job being a chef and I'm not an office based chef. I'm working ten hours a day in a kitchen. And you, kind of, need that pleasure from it to, to get you through the day. You need to enjoy your job. Technically it’s all fine. But, like, you don’t get the satisfaction of cooking something, you know, spending all day on something and then, you know, I don’t even have to taste it. I can just smell it and I know it’s spot on and, you know, and things like that. [Not being able to taste and smell] takes a lot of the good parts away from the job. It’s helped my kitchen staff train up, because now I, I get them to season everything. My way of tasting of something seasoned now is I won't trust anyone, what anyone says. I’ll do what I think and when I think I'm right, I’ll try it, I’ll give it to someone to try and then I’ll just watch the face. And if, you know in their eyes if it's tasty or if they like it instantly or not like that. And then I, kind of, put more salt in, gauged on their reaction.
Robert lost some of his enjoyment of cooking for his family after losing his sense of taste and smell
Robert lost some of his enjoyment of cooking for his family after losing his sense of taste and smell
I cook at home all the time and, you know, there’s been a few occasions where I’ve cooked dinner and it’s just, I’ve completely messed the seasoning up on it and it’s been awful and, or I’ve thought I've cooked something amazing that I can taste a bit of and I sit down and everyone’s just gone, bland, you know, there was nothing in it, you know, and things like that. So, I mean, it is, it’s not very, not very nice at all.
I probably have a few, the odd takeaway a bit more now or the odd thing a bit more now just because you're energised by the idea of cooking dinner as well, you know, when you, when you, when you like what you’re cooking, and, you know, sometimes the motivation isn't quite as strong. But, you know, I, of course I do, I do and it’s nice to see them enjoy it.