Vonnie

Age at interview: 59
Brief Outline:

Vonnie is 59, married and has 3 children and 2 step-children. Ethnicity: Black British.
 
Vonnie first became unwell at the start of 2020. Eventually an antibody test confirmed that she had had Covid. Vonnie is the head of her family as her parents have passed on and so during this time she describes the impact on her family as “dire.” Vonnie was interviewed in November 2021.

 

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Vonnie caught a really bad virus at the start of 2020. She developed a fever, and felt lethargic and “lifeless.” After a few weeks she felt a little bit better and returned to work, but says she really “pushed it” and by mid-March became unwell again. At the time she wasn’t sure if it was Covid because headaches were not listed as a symptom on the NHS website. However, over time Vonnie’s condition deteriorated and she describes feeling “like a zombie” with a fever, body aches, sore throat, and changes in taste and smell. She suspected it was Covid and says it was around this time that things went “downhill” with chest pains, heart palpitations, coughing and breathing problems.

An ambulance was called to Vonnie’s house and the paramedics said “suspected Covid.” Vonnie continued to experience severe symptoms and says she was “out of it for a good three months.” Eventually an antibody test confirmed that she had had Covid.

Vonnie is the head of her family and so during this time she describes the impact on her family as “dire.” Help came from her church community and her children, and her husband juggles work with caring and household chores.

Vonnie eventually tried to get back to work but was frequently off sick and has now had to give up her job. She worries about how her Long Covid is affecting her family as she says “There’s no-one cooking proper meals anymore.” She also misses being able to do things like going to the cinema with her grandchildren. Vonnie worries about the strain her being unwell puts on her husband and children. She thinks they feel as though “they’ve lost someone, but they’re still there.”

 

Vonnie’s family all pitched in to care for her. Her middle daughter had to ‘step up into the motherly role’, and her grandson learned to cook.

Vonnie’s family all pitched in to care for her. Her middle daughter had to ‘step up into the motherly role’, and her grandson learned to cook.

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I can start by saying they’re all carers now. And my oldest, she doesn't live in the city I live. But she does a lot of organising behind the scenes. And then my middle daughter, she’s the one what was at home. It, it just so happened that she was in between homes when that time came. So, she was here with us, so it devastated her. You know, my personality wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same mum she could chill with, you know. She could, you know, she’d look for me for advice. And I just couldn't even communicate, I couldn't even respond for half of the things what she wanted to ask me. She had to step up into the motherly role.

My grandson, bless him, he, he learned how to cook [laughs]. He learned how to cook during that time [laughs]. He learned how to peel, you know, peel spuds and things like that [laughs] shepherd’s pie and things like that [laughs]. My husband, it was so hard on my husband. It was like he was, he was having to do, you know, get up, do the bits I used to do. Go to work. Come back and do the bits I used to do after work. So, he, he’d taken on everything what I used to do. Even the financial side of things that I, I just couldn't handle it. Organising everything and not just me. You know, the whole family. My son, he has, he’s still a carer as well [laughs] They’re all employed, full time employed and they’re having to fit taking me to doctors and hospital and making sure I’ve got something to eat. They’ve got a routine where they ring me in the morning and my husband’s got a routine where he has to make sure I’m up. And if he knows I can’t wake up, I’ve relapsed. I’m in a relapse. I can’t wake. I can’t move. Can’t do anything. And he’ll, he’ll make sure that my medication’s next to me.

He’ll make sure that he’ll have like fruit and things, things what can’t perish, you know, until I can come around and have something to eat but because I’m now diabetic, he’ll, if he’s left the house and I’ve not opened my eyes or responded, he’ll ring me before you know, before he starts working properly. And this is the routine for them all. They will ring me, make sure I’m up to date with everything. Have I eaten? Have I not eaten? Have I got lunch? Have I got a sandwich? If I can’t get out of bed because there’s days when I’m just bound, bed bound they all chip in to make sure that’s-, and if they can’t do it, they’ll make sure someone close to me can do it that lives round the corner or something. So, it involves not just my family, it involves other families as well. And it involves not just those in the city, but those outside the city. I’ve got people ringing me from the US. I’ve got my relatives ringing me and you know, people from Jamaica. Everyone’s on the case to make sure I’m okay throughout the day. Everyone.

I had a particular incident, you asked me this [laughs]. It’s a long while. I hadn’t seen a relative for gosh, say like from the winter 2019 up until what are we now October, up until September this year. And when she, when they saw me, they, they planned, “You need to get a builder in. You need to get downstairs bathroom. You need to get a wheelchair.” So, this is, this is just by seeing me for a few minutes. I didn’t, I might not realise how much I’ve changed. You’ve not seen me before. Anyone who’s not seen me before wouldn't realise how much I’ve changed. But to someone who knew where I was, for them to be saying, “You need to get a wheelchair. You need to do this; you need to do that.” My body has changed. And for me on the receiving end, it crumbles, you crumble. You absolutely crumble. Someone’s organising a stair lift for me this week, you know.

 

If it weren’t for her family, Vonnie says she would need carers. She reflects that there will be a lot of people ‘in trouble out there’.

If it weren’t for her family, Vonnie says she would need carers. She reflects that there will be a lot of people ‘in trouble out there’.

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If it’s, it’s more than helpful because if it wasn’t for my family, I would need carers, you know? If it wasn’t for my family being able to shop for me, people cooking for me, I would actually be in trouble, so, you know, I’m smiling and everything but let’s not take it for granted. People around me are not in my position and we need to know more about the charities what are there to help us, things like that. We’re disabled. We don’t realise it until, I realised it by speaking to occupational therapists. You don’t realise it because we’ve never been through this before. You asked me earlier on, you know: "what did you think when you were told about Long Covid? " I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know Long Covid would mean you’re disabled in the end, whether it’s temporarily or, you know? So, it, I’m smiling and laughing but there’s a lot of people in trouble out there.

 

Vonnie used to be very involved in her church community, but has had to carefully manage her energy. Her family now brings celebrations to her.

Vonnie used to be very involved in her church community, but has had to carefully manage her energy. Her family now brings celebrations to her.

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I would, I was on a choir with a lot of singing. You know, we went to the prisons and did a lot of praying. We, we were quite involved in the community. As for me, it’s mostly Zoom. I’ve, I’ve been four times since church has re-opened. And, and what happened the last time we’ve come to the decision that it’s best I just stay on Zoom for now. It’s taking too much energy. ‘Cos you have to think it’s not just being attending, you’ve gotta think of someone’s journey. You’ve gotta get up in the morning. Make sure you’re feeling okay. Make sure your temperature’s okay. Make sure you’ve had all your medication and eaten and then slowly get dressed. You know, so it’s not just a matter of ‘oh, I could just jump up now and go.’

Yeah, you know, I don’t go to restaurants. As I said, the family was quite tight, you know, and adult children, you know, celebrating, celebrating milestones in their lives. Anniversaries, wedding anniversaries and things like that. It’s, it’s in fact, what’s happened now, it’s all come to me. It’s, instead of everyone going to restaurants and that now because they don’t wanna miss me, they all come to me. It’s all done here now which is a good thing so I can just sneak out of the room because it gets overwhelming [laughs]. So, I can just be here, but vanish, yeah.

One of my daughter’s hit the big 40 the other day. And, you know, instead of me missing it, they brought everything here and they cut the cake and everything here. It was brilliant and they went and partied after, so that was fine [laughs].

 

Vonnie reflects on how hard this has been for partners of those with Long Covid.

Vonnie reflects on how hard this has been for partners of those with Long Covid.

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I was thinking about this actually relationship. Because remember, Covid comes at any age. Can you imagine the scenario of, well, as a young couple or a couple just, you know, met, starting to build life and one comes down with Covid and they’re seriously impacted, how that crumbles with the partner. Where’s the support for them? Can you imagine a situation where there’s a single parent? No? We need some sort of support here. Yes, we’ve got fantastic support with the online supports, but somewhere along the line, you’re going to have to have something, some counselling in place, and counsellors shouldn’t be under the terms of mental illness. This is a chronic sickness; we need counselling.

Yeah, you’re right, and support for partners.

Yeah. You know, I don’t know what it would be like if I was the one turning the key every evening and coming into this, and leaving that every morning, I wouldn’t—I don’t know what it would be like, you know, yeah, I just think something needs to be done out there; counselling, not under the mental health umbrella but in general counselling for families, partners, etc.