Maryam

Brief Outline:

Maryam’s whole household fell ill with Covid around November or December 2021. She tells us that her son was the first to become ill with Covid symptoms, with the rest of the family getting sick a few days afterwards. Everybody was feverish and in pain; “We couldn’t even walk.” She says that afterwards the children still felt “…really weak. They’re really tired, like a fatigue, headaches.” Maryam says, “I’m not that person that I used to be. I was really fit woman. I was instructor, I teach exercise.” She also comments, “I’m still suffering. It’s like Covid killed me. It’s like inside, you know?” Maryam was interviewed in June 2022.

Maryam is her 30’s and a self-employed fitness instructor. She and her husband have four children between the ages of 7 to 13 years old. Ethnicity: British Pakistani.

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After getting Covid in late 2021, Maryam’s whole family are now dealing with Long Covid symptoms. Maryam and her husband have four children; she says they were happy children but now they all have anxiety and suffer mood swings. She says that they go to school and are also taking part in PE lessons, but when they come home they complain about fatigue, headaches, stomach ache, leg pain, and body aches. Before getting Covid, they were a really active family, going for one-hour walks each day, plus regularly doing activities such as cycling, swimming and going to the gym. This all changed when the family found themselves suffering from fatigue. The children now feel tired after just fifteen minutes of swimming or walking, and her husband has also stopped going to the gym every day.

Maryam explains that she sometimes needs to collect her thirteen-year-old daughter from school when she has a headache. She took her daughter to their GP, but when a blood test to check her Vitamin D and iron levels came back normal, the GP told her that “everything is okay” and advised to take paracetamol. Maryam said that the GP explained to her that sometimes children experience long term symptoms after getting Covid and said that “it’s going to go away soon.”

Maryam feels that it’s important for her to keep her children “moving all the time.” To help distract them from pain and offer her children a different activity, she got them a cat, which they enjoy playing with and giving treats to. Maryam says that the cat relieves her stress and is helping the children with their mental health a lot, cheering them up as well as offering them a distraction from the TV, iPad, and games console. Maryam has noticed her children are also socialising more as siblings when playing with the cat.

Maryam explains that before Covid she would be seeing clients or teaching four or five exercise classes every day. After getting Covid, she now feels tired after three. Her husband is a contract worker, and the family is relying on him more now financially. With food, electric, and gas prices all going up, Maryam admits that they are struggling, “sometimes hands to mouth,” and that it is causing them stress and anxiety. They have had to cancel a holiday to Turkey and Pakistan to visit family (Maryam’s mother lives is in Pakistan). When the children enquired why they weren’t going to see “Nanny or Grandma,” this year, they opted to tell them it was because they were, “not feeling well. Dad is working. No day off.”

Maryam says that there were changes to the family’s religious activities during the pandemic – they would read with a teacher on an online Zoom call instead of going to the mosque. Now she says that she is trying to take them to the mosque again after school; however, since getting Covid, the children are finding two hours of mosque after school is too much for them. Maryam says, “So we’re stuck now. That’s why we do the online for half an hour.” Maryam would prefer to go in person: “As a Muslim we should go to the mosque and do the prayer there… and it’s a proper way they teach face-to-face.” She also feels that they are missing out on seeing their friends at the mosque. Maryam feels that doing everything on a gadget is not good for the children – or anyone.

Maryam says that some of her friends complain about Long Covid as well. “They do understand. Sometimes they do help and it’s not easy for everyone.” She says that “everyone believes,” and no one around her is skeptical about Long Covid. Maryam has searched online for information about Long Covid, including the NHS website, but she mentions that searching and reading things online can sometimes cause her more anxiety.

Maryam and her husband are both fully vaccinated. She said she had a Covid vaccination, and has since had another after getting Covid. She says, “it’s not that you’re going to have a jab and you’re not going to have the Covid, the symptoms was really bad.” Maryam’s 13-year-old daughter has only had one vaccine; they have felt “scared” that her current Long Covid symptoms may worsen if she has another jab, but she may let her get one. Her other children were too young to be eligible for vaccination at time of interview, as they were under twelve years of age.

Maryam thinks that some talking therapy would be helpful for the healing process from Long Covid. She says that her children now wear masks at school and use sanitizer, and they would probably advise other children to do the same.

Maryam says getting a cat has been good for her children and is helping with their (and her own) mental health.

And what, we got a cat for them. We got two cats now. So, it’s like it’s a different activity now. So, they are after the cat all the time, you know. Running around with him. Playing with the cat. And it’s like giving them little, you know the mind is on different type like a different side, their mind is on different sides for the cat. They play with her all the time. Like a different, a different thing and maybe it’s their lifestyle is changing now. They’re taking the cat out in the garden. Bring him inside. Teaching him stuff. Playing with him. Making more fun and I think it’s their mind is in a different thing, like before, when they feel tired, oh, Tiger. We call him Tiger. Tiger is there, so they just after Tiger. They just sometimes they forget their pain.

Yeah, and he’s just after them all the time and, and he’s waiting all, all day, near the gate door. So, whenever they come he just, he’s so happy that they are here. He knows they, they going to give them treat. You know, one by one, he’s so clever. You know the cat’s there. He’s really clever. What he done, he go over to one of the, one of the child, he just stroke them and then they give him treat and he go to the next one, little child, but he give him treat. So, he’s after us for the treats, but he’s going around and around everybody’s giving him treats now. So, cat happy. My children is happy.

That’s very funny, yeah [laughs]. I think cats are very, very smart and they know how to get treats.

Yeah, yeah he knows and you know, my children they show him to raise a treat. And he, all day, he sits near the door. He knows that the treats are in there. Sometimes he starts opening the door that I need to take the treats out.

That’s very cute [laughs]. Do you think that having Tiger around has helped your children’s mental health?

Yes. It’s helping him, helping them a lot. Yeah.

How are they coping mentally do you think?

Because some of their mind is on there on Tiger and it’s like they do different thing. You know, sometimes it’s like I don’t prefer them to stay on the TV or playing the gadgets or go on the phone or go on the iPad, play the PlayStation. It’s like they’re naturally they are playing with the cat. Physically, they’re physically with the cat. They’re mentally with the cat like playing around like more socialising like, you know that as a, before they were socialising with their brother and sister, so now, in these days, they are as a, as a brother and sister, group wise, they are with the cat. And they are talking, they are talking with the cat. They are talking to the cat and it’s like you want this you want that and the children they are involving. I think, you know, some time we need to make changes in the, in the house, in the, in their lifestyle. You have to try. It’s like I, I tried, but I think it’s, it’s good for them.

Yes, it sounds really good for them. I agree. I think the change has probably been really good.

Yes, yeah. You know even me, you know, you know whenever I stroke my cat, he’s sitting with me next, all the time. So, when I were like stroking it was like releasing. You know, something is releasing from your body, releasing the stress. It’s like you feel calm, you know, after you, it’s like an animal, but it’s a main thing. It’s, it’s a part of our family now. Whenever I stroke the cat, I get stressed sometimes. I feel annoyed. So, whenever I catch my cat, I’ll stroke him and you know I feel really calm, really relaxed. It’s like cat is taking the stress, it’s the releasing of stress when you’re stroking the cat.

Maryam’s family used to enjoy walking, cycling and swimming together, but now feels that their ongoing Covid symptoms prevent them from going back to their normal lives.

And they still, you know, my daughter, she’s still getting the headaches. Sometimes she says, “Mummy, I feel really tired.” There was lots of fatigue afterwards. They give, my children, they are really active. We, as a family, we were really active people. Like we go for a walk every single day before the Covid. So, every week, every day, we would go for the walk for one hour. We do the cycling. We go to the gym. We go swimming. We do so many activities. But you know, after this we had Covid. We couldn't even like get up from the bed, it’s like, you know, when I finish my work it’s like I’ve died. My children, when they come back from school like tired. And it’s a fatigue. It’s like, it’s, it’s a really bad impact from the Covid we had as a family.

Yeah, I’m still taking them swimming. But you know, with the swimming they, they used to do the half an hour’s lesson every week. The teacher teach them swimming. So, now in these days, you know, they do the fifteen-minute swimming, they feel tired. And it’s like a taking them the walk and ten, fifteen minute we walk and then they start feeling tired. And you know, it’s like Covid it’s like they destroyed us really badly. It’s no small thing. It’s like the whole family, our lifestyle going to change. Our sleep going to change, like mood wise. You know the mood swings. They having sometimes anxiety. They are having sometimes anger. Usually, they had, they were really, really happy children. [siren in background]. So now in this, after the Covid they, Covid is finished, but still they, it’s some symptom inside, in their body like some time they get anxiety and sometimes they get the fatigue. Sometimes they get the headaches and it’s like I don't know when is everything going to go back to normal? It’s like it’s never ever going to be back to normal. They’re destroying us.

Maryam’s children started attending religious services online because of lockdown, but have had to continue as going to the mosque after school is now too tiring for them with Long Covid.

We do the most, you know, the most holy book, they read the holy book every day with a teacher, online, we usually used to go to the mosque to do their pray in the mosque. So now, they’re doing due to the Covid, we start online. So, they do the Zoom now. So, before it was okay. After the Covid, it’s like everything has changed. And now, I’m trying to bring those activities back that take them to the mosque. And it’s like when you go there, it’s two hours. So, after school, even after, because before the Covid they were okay. But Covid had—they go school, six hour and they come back, if they got two hours mosque is too much for them. So, we’re stuck now. That’s why we do the online for half an hour.

And how do you feel about that?

It’s not nice, really. You know, it’s like as a parent, as a Muslim we should go to the mosque and do the prayer there and do the holy book there. And it’s a proper way they teach face-to-face. You understand, when we do the like as an instructor, any activity, when you do the online, it’s different. When you do it face-to-face activity and so it’s different. We can feel more. Understand more.

And they can be with other people?

Yeah, they believe that the people are socialising and talking with their friends, making friends and it’s a different environment. It’s like a purpose, you know, they’re seeing their friends. They are going in a mosque and see their friends and pray. They read the holy book. It’s good. I prefer going in a mosque to the being online.

Maryam does not want to pass on her stress and anxiety about finances to her children.

I’m just thinking if you’re now working as much as you would like to, how’re you getting on financially?

Yeah, sometimes, because my husband, he’s working eight hours, but he’s a contract one. So, obviously we are surviving on him now.

Has that been difficult?

Very difficult.

What sorts of things, because I know food prices are going up. Petrol prices are going up.

There are food prices going up. Electric, gas, going up. Everything going up. You know, the children, they need everything. So, shopping wise, everything is up. We are struggling. Sometimes hands to mouth.

How’re feeling about that?

It’s like, you know, it’s not easy. Sometimes you get the stress, anxiety and it’s like how we going to manage everything. You don’t want to give any tension to the children.

Right. You try not to let them know that, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, that’s just you and your husband trying to deal with it.

Yeah, yeah. We just working out as a, as a team.