Golda

Age at interview: 53

Brief Outline:

Golda caught Covid in December 2020 and she says around this time she had no idea what Long Covid meant as not a lot was known about it. Golda says that her Covid and Long Covid experiences has affected her “tremendously mentally.” Golda was interviewed in November 2021.

Golda is 53 and lives with her husband and 3 children. She has a further 5 children who have left home. Ethnicity: Jewish American.

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Golda caught Covid in December 2020 and she says around this time she had no idea what Long Covid meant as not a lot was known about it then. When Golda was discharged from hospital after her oxygen levels improved she was told to rest for 4- 6 weeks in bed at home.

Golda says she feels “very blessed” to have such a supportive family and community and says that around this time, she didn’t have to do a thing – “I literally did not have to leave my room and I didn’t.”

Golda says she was surprised when the GP called a couple of weeks later and asked if she wanted to be referred to the Long Covid clinic. She had thought that you had to have symptoms for 8 weeks to be considered as having Long Covid and remembers saying to the GP at the time, “Don’t curse me.”

Golda describes experiencing multiple infections over the subsequent 11 months and regularly needing antibiotics. She’s had singing and breathing therapy and has tried various alternative and complementary therapies with little success – “I just cannot encourage my breathing pattern to change.” Golda suffers from ‘brain fog’, fatigue, memory loss and heart palpitations and believes this is linked to her inability to take in enough oxygen. She also experiences gastric issues and swollen optic nerves.

Golda had to go back to A&E after about 6 weeks being back at home and says she “wasn’t mentally prepared” for the traumatic experience of returning to the same hospital and had a “full blown panic attack.”

Golda says her experience with Covid has had a big effect on her family. She says that “they had to come to terms with this mother who’s so active and so like able to do everything…” to someone who became so weak and sick and who couldn’t do the things she used to do like buying in food and cooking. Golda says that her Covid and Long Covid experiences has affected her “tremendously mentally” particularly as she’s not felt able to return to work.

Over time, Golda has managed to grow mentally stronger and she says that she credits this to her faith and also the supportive team of family and friends she has around her.

Golda’s children weren’t used to their mother being unwell. The whole family had to ‘step up to the plate’ to take over household responsibilities.

So, rightly or wrongly so, I did everything in my house. I, so my especially my, the three youngest children who live at home, they literally have everything done for them and then suddenly I wasn’t, I wasn’t cooking, food was coming in or we were buying in food and the cleaner was doing all the laundry and my family were like taking things, taking over, doing things taking the kids to appointments. My husband was like or is like, like, like super, he’s not stressed as in like, he’s not a stressed kind of person but like he’s doing my job and his jobs which is, you know, really, really difficult.

They were expected to step up to the plate a little bit as well and they’ve been ousted from their from their sort of comfortable positions and had to take on different things and also have felt responsible to do things and I didn’t, I felt very uncomfortable or very-, like, you want, you want to ease your children into doing things or teach your children to cook or bake or do something in nice, in nice circumstances not in like emergency situations or because they have to do something and also I didn’t want to hide anything from the kids for, you know, I didn’t want them to feel, I wanted them to know what was going on but I didn’t want them to be scared so like it was like a balance of, you know, they’re living in the house so they can see what’s going on but then, you know, we wanted it to be a balance, I didn’t want them to be frightened. So while I was in the hospital, they didn’t really know what was happening and it was quite scary for them when I came home, and they realised how sick I really was [sighs] and every time I don’t feel good they panic. They’re not used to having a mother who’s sick and then suddenly-, so yeah.

Golda appreciated a friend who still dropped off soup to her 11 months later.

I mean, I’m 11 months on and still get texts from friends, 11 months on, “Just checking in how are you doing?” I still get a friend came by on Sunday who dropped off some stuff, just, you know, “I made you some soup.” 11 months in, like nobody’s given up even though I might, they haven’t given up and I’m cognisant of that fact that I’m very blessed with that because a lot of people don’t have that and, you know, [sighs]. That’s definitely something that’s helped me through because I know that on these groups that I’m on sometimes people they post and they’re like, “I’m at the end, I can’t anymore” and they have no one, and we are their support and that point I might write something like, “Don’t give up.” You know, even though this is a long haul but keep going because very, there will be a light there. “Imagine the light, just even if you don’t see it, imagine it.” That’s hard itself, that takes a lot of… [sighs]. So that was six weeks. So that was the first time that they queried Long Covid like they obviously realised that this wasn’t, I wasn’t getting over Covid so fast.

Golda’s children missed having their mother around to talk to.

I had had such a mild case and then suddenly this shower and this spray and the whole, the whole sort of everything that was left over from this shower and the pneumonia and the, the weakness and the sickness and the brain fog and I couldn’t talk, and I couldn’t, I couldn’t do anything. I had no-, and I’m looking at my family and my kids and, you know, each one I’m trying to help them, you know, I-, sort of they had to come to terms with this mother who’s so active and so like able to do everything and help them and work, you know, full time work and community and you know, I basically ran my house and maybe I was wrong that I did everything and, you know, that they, that, you know, but it doesn’t matter, right or wrong, the fact is that this is how they grew up.
 
And, you know, even my married children, like now, they tell me that, you know, the one thing that they really miss is being able to [sighs] is being able to discuss things with me, like they’re missing that that sort of, you know, bounce things off me and have like a deeper conversation with me and more meaningful and, you know, and more where I can help them to solve things or I can just, you know, give them, I don’t advise anybody. I have a policy. They come to me for advice, I don’t give advice I don’t want anyone to come to me later and say that “You told me so.” Everybody has to come to their own decisions, but I don’t mind bouncing off ideas and letting you decide for yourself and here that was missing, they didn’t have that, you know and my kids were so they became so needy, and so, I mean rightly so and I just I and I couldn’t help them.