Goutam

Age at diagnosis: 52

Brief Outline:

Goutam developed Covid symptoms during the first week of the first national lockdown. He was taken into intensive care after his oxygen levels remained too low. He found the experience disturbing, but his family gave him strength.

Background:

Goutam is 52 years old and is Indian. He is married and has two children, and works in IT implementation management.

More about me...

Goutam experienced Covid symptoms at the end of the first week of national lockdown, with his wife beginning to feel unwell a few days later. Trying to reduce his high temperature and body aches, Goutam took paracetamol but kept feeling worse and couldn’t focus on anything. He phoned an NHS hotline but they were very busy and couldn’t give him more answers. After Goutam’s cough was constant, his wife phoned the emergency services and he was taken into hospital.

After his second Covid test come  back positive, Goutam found that he struggled to move from his bed and was taken to the ICU (intensive care unit) when his oxygen levels stayed very low. He was told he was going to be sedated but was under the impression it would only be for twenty-four hours. He was shocked to find that he had been in the ICU for thirty five days. During his time in the ICU, Goutam explains that he experienced lots of bad dreams and hallucinations which he found very disturbing. Pictures of his family were a big source of strength for Goutam, as was the presence of his friends and community while he was recovering. While Goutam was in intensive care, his family were in regular contact with the hospital asking about any changes in his condition. Goutam felt that he was incredibly well cared for in hospital. He was thankful for the passion and commitment of the NHS staff who looked after him, who he felt were working in very challenging conditions.

After leaving intensive care, Goutam found that he had to start “everything again from scratch” as he had lost a lot of strength. However, he says that feeling the sunlight when he stepped outside was “one of the best feelings”, and he also found that sharing his experiences with a friend who had been in a similar situation was very helpful.

Goutam doesn’t feel that he has completely recovered, as he can’t run on the weekends like he used to before, and his sense of smell and taste is weaker. He now goes for walks instead of running and is excited to see if he can still play badminton with his friends. He thinks getting the vaccine is important to protect loved ones and the public as a whole.

Goutam waited for more than 45 minutes to reach the NHS helpline, and when he did, they did not have more information than he did.

You said that when you first contacted the NHS you had to wait more than 45 minutes to an hour to get through to people.

Yeah

There must have been, I mean how did you, what were your thoughts about your own symptoms and at that time?

I think, you know, absolutely because my wife got fever for a couple of days and she had paracetamol and she was okay, you know, she was still a little bit down but like as, or whatever and that but she was a bit down. But was okay because I think because of me I had so bad symptoms she made herself more like, let’s say okay I need to take care of this man and then she somehow got off. But coming to NHS 24 yeah the first time like I waited 45 minutes to get, and then I feel a little bit like I said like that’s what I’m doing and all, like, and that’s what the news yes everybody says keep checking so you haven’t really given me any extra information or anything. And I tried the second time which was like even longer like I was on for an hour or so because all I wasn’t very convinced you’ll like get the same thing from my wife says “no, no, no you have to, let’s try and see like what they say”, and at that time it was so long maybe like, I have the hindsight know I can think like why because they didn’t have any information for me other than that as well. So, so yeah a little bit deserted at that time because I thought like, you know, when you wait for over an hour and you get desperate and try taking paracetamol and you are doing the right thing but I could see myself I wasn’t improving at all really I was really going down.

So, that was the only thing like, you know, I was enthusiastic about that time with the NHS line like okay why can’t they say to me like okay go and see someone, go and see a doctor or we’ll call or-, or a GP call you or do something. Because I remember, I think I tried GP our local GP as well, but they just have the same thing like, “No really we can’t do anything at this moment you just have to and wait and watch”, kind of thing. And yeah I think that’s obviously on the hindsight I can see why they are saying that, I think yeah at that time it was a bit, a little bit deserted saying I’m not really getting any help.

What would have been helpful at that point?

Again, I think the helpful thing obviously is information because there are nothing prescription information and probably testing, like testing would have been fantastic that’s one of the main things which was good. I mean if you will, whether it’s manual or somehow you could test it I think that would have, that would have made a big difference because you know for yourself that, whether you were positive or negative and if you were positive then at least you know that you’re not gonna pass it to somebody because you kept yourself isolated. You know the end result of what would happen so at least you, from my point of view I could say like I wouldn’t have gone to like, you know, my family or anyone at that time. I would have as isolated, do something different please really and I think that was a big, big thing was testing I’d say like, you know, if somehow, some kit or something was there to test yourself or someone else testing for you or however it was done.

Goutam’s symptoms were so intense, that he and his wife saw no other option but to call an ambulance

What was happening with you, with your symptoms that made you that time reach out to call 999 for an ambulance, what was actually happening at that time?

I think the triggering point was the breathing really because the body was like, I could feel the pain in my body. The aches and everything else and the fever because when you constantly were like, you know, was so high in spite of trying all the paracetamols you had or the strongest like, medicines that I had, or constantly putting cold water on the head with ice and everything it just temporarily for half an hour but it was constantly there. And I think once on that Sunday night, when the breathing like when I could see the cough was so immense like constantly coughing. When nobody else could sleep in the night in the house because you are constantly coughing so loudly. It’s a different kind of cough as well it’s more than something you are coughing, you know, on a normal when you have a tough cold or kind of thing. It was a different sound of the cough, and you are gasping for oxygen like that’s where I think, that’s the trigger point when you know that it is very hard. I can remember like going from downstairs to upstairs like from the living room to the bedroom that was a struggle like at that time, that’s when you know like okay something is really, really not right in your body and so yeah I think that was the trigger point for us.

And what was it like when the ambulance team came, you said they came inside the house, were they all kitted up?

They were kitted up I think they had the white mask like, you know, a thing on. But I, because at that time I was struggling myself so badly and like in a way I was relieved to see someone else, you know. Somebody with medical experience and I think, so then they come in and I think they were, they had PPE kit on. They didn’t stay, you know, I was on the sofa, so they came in and just immediately checked like things like temperature and pulse and all the rest. So, we didn’t, I think 15-20 minutes because they did say “okay get some of your stuff, get what you need”, and then, so I had a small bag packed with me. I think I still had on my ‘jammies or something and I had the gown on and then that’s it I was in the ambulance from there.

Goutam experienced the CPAP mask as painful and struggled not to take it off.

I’ve never been to ICU the first time I went to ICU I said okay how bad it could be like, you know. I’ll be in another day maybe just an isolation, because that was in my mind it’s because of the Covid, you know, it’s probably it’s more isolation and yeah and they will have a mask because I was struggling in breathing terms, so I’ll have something, oxygen mask or something. So, and probably, that would be, but I still remember that on my head and I remember taking pictures so I can’t be out of sense like when I can’t, took a selfie when that was on my head. And I did say like that’s really one of the very painful experience that was painful like, you know, constantly having that in your whole body like your whole face is covered and you are trying to breathe through that plastic bubble was very painful. And I remember like if they tried to get it off like when I really feel suffocated and try to, and I remember like no, don’t take it like we’re trying to, you know, bring up your oxygen level, don’t try to take it off. So, you just felt like okay I, make yourself like “right I’ll be okay, I’ll be okay I’ll be strong”, but that, that was really, and yeah so like at that time constantly I was like “right okay when are they going to come, how can I go back to see my family”, that was constantly playing up in my mind at the time.

Goutam learned from conversations with his wife that he had been too ill to undergo a hospital transfer that would enable him to get a particular treatment

You said that there was a particular time, was it around the 16th of April, 15th or 16th of April when you really took a tumble. Did you, did you know that at the time, were you aware or is this something that you only became aware of afterwards?

No, I became aware of it afterwards because then like, you know, and then there, that’s when my wife told me this is what happened sort of thing. I wasn’t at all aware of, you know but that I think what happened is that was so bad somehow there was something happened there so badly that it wasn’t going away in spite of giving all the oxygen it wasn’t. The body was still very low on oxygen, and they said like, you know, because that morning the doctor said for me said like we are trying, giving our last shot because he is the sickest guy. And we are trying to move him to [hospital] because that is the machine is called ECMO which will pump the blood out of your body and then oxygenate it and then put the blood back into your body and that’s the last thing that we could do.

So, we have time to move him to, there are two machines one in [place] and one in [place] but the [place] one is being used for the heart persons so as a Covid person you can’t use that so the same machine cannot be used. So, the only machine that can be used is in [place] and so we are trying to move him to [place] next. But the, then next morning they got like they said, the doctor phoned them and told them like okay we have discussed among ourselves, and I don’t think that he will survive the journey. So, we need to do what we need to do in [place] so we so that ECMO was ruled out and those two nights tho-, those two were very dark like, you know. When going back I spoke to my wife and see each other so those, those are the really hard time because you just don’t know. They said that like they will not try to just make you, you know, not trying to give you any, any, any like news like okay you are hoping for we just wanted to make you aware that be strong and like, you know, this is reality just pray more. And that’s, that’s all they say just keep praying and we are doing our best. So, yeah so obviously for myself I didn’t have a clue like at that time like I didn’t know whether it was 15th April or 20th April or 1st April I had no clue at that time and so, but for me and the family I think that was the hardest two or three nights really.