Stewart - Interview 39

Age at interview: 46

Age at diagnosis: 45

Brief Outline: Stewart was diagnosed with depression in 2010 after not being 'himself' for a couple of years. He attributes this to the accumulated effects of the loss of a number of close family members over the years and an unsettled (though loving) childhood. A supportive and insightful GP, medication and cognitive behavioural therapy have helped his recovery.

Background: Stewart is a self-employed tradesperson. He is married and has two children. Ethnic background' Australian.

More about me...

Stewart’s childhood was defined by his parents’ marriage breakdown and his stepfather’s sudden and early death, the first of a series of losses which he didn’t grieve for at the time and which contributed to later problems with separation anxiety and depression. Stewart’s birth was very hard on his mother, and his parents divorced soon after. From then on he had only sporadic contact with his father. When he was seven his mother remarried a kind and gentle man, but he died suddenly two years later. This was a heavy blow to the family, and particularly for Stewart’s mother, who never recovered from this, the divorce, and the strains of raising five children almost single-handedly. On reflection Stewart realises his mother suffered from depression. Financial stress, frequent moves around the state, his sisters growing up and leaving home, and his mother’s descent into alcoholism compounded his sense of isolation – although throughout, he loved his mother and could see she was doing her best.

 

At 18, Stewart left home and moved to the city. He met his wife in his mid-20s and they married when Stewart was 30, later having two children. His mother died when he was 28, but this was soon after he and his wife became engaged, and he didn’t give himself time to grieve. Nine years later when his father died, Stewart attended the funeral but the eulogy re-ignited his anger and regret over the father-son relationship he’d never had. His most recent loss was of his sister, eighteen months ago. On this occasion, Stewart had to organise the funeral himself, again missing out on the chance to grieve.

 

The first sign that Stewart’s childhood experiences had left a mark was in 2003 when he suffered from anxiety when he had to spend time away from his wife. A psychologist diagnosed him with separation anxiety and helped him to deal with this. Then in late 2008 he noticed things weren’t quite right. He was stressed and busy with his business, but had been attributing his mood and unhappiness to work and his serious nature. His separation anxiety had returned, and he was ‘grumpy and easily upset’. He spoke to his wife, and they agreed to see a psychologist who referred him to a GP. 

 

Stewart’s first meeting with the GP was life-altering. She was understanding, caring and he was prescribed antidepressants. Stuart described feeling better within a few weeks. This change enabled him to address serious issues affecting the business and his separation anxiety abated. He has also gained insight into thoughts and feelings through therapy with a psychologist.

 

Stewart was open with family and friends about his experiences and found their reactions understanding and supportive. He also opened up to other franchisees within his business with the intention of raising awareness. He is continuing to take medication. He would encourage anyone experiencing depression to see their GP and be prepared to talk about how they are feeling.

 

 

Stewart emphasised the importance of GPs having an interest in and knowledge of depression. He...

And so she made an appointment with the, with the GP at the clinic where we take the kids, who has an interest in, in depression, a lady GP. And uh I went and saw her a couple of days later and [wife] came with me. And she had me fill out, you know, there's a couple of questionnaires you have to fill out and all of that and we talked about a whole range of issues. She it was just a, it was a, well it was life changing appointment, it really was. I mean she clearly understands the illness and to me she also very clearly understands the issues with people accepting they have the illness. 

 

And we talked through a whole range of stuff and, and it was, and she was asking me questions about my thoughts and, and it was like she could read my mind. She was saying, you know, do you ever think about this and do you ever think? And everything she raised I was like, well yeah, I do

 

So very important, good GPs. I mean you know there's a lot of ordinary ones out there but gee when you find a good one, it's…

 

Initially Stewart went to his counsellor for separation anxiety and bereavement but as time went...

Well hers was a lot about cognitive thinking and because we, initially we were talking about the separation anxiety and then grieving my sister's death and all of that. And so it was along the cognitive thinking sort of lines, but you know using tools within your own mind to change the way you think about stuff. And, you know, to, to better understand situations so that you can cope with them and understand why you think certain ways and then be able to change that thinking consciously, you know. So she gave me a lot of reading on cognitive thinking and that sort of thing as well, which I just find interesting anyway. So yes I was, was more than happy to take that on board. So that that was very much the approach.

 

But you know again in hindsight I think probably, you know, if I had maybe seven or eight sessions with her I suspect that after probably four or five she was starting to think, you know, there might be something else going on here. So ultimately when I went to the, when she got me to go to the GP, you know, we sort of, it was, I guess the sessions after that became more about the depression and managing that and how I was feeling about being on the medication. And how was the feeling about myself in light of the fact that I'd been diagnosed and all those sorts of things, so.

 

Stewart talked about sharing his experience with other people being of mutual benefit.

And so we made the decision to very publicly come out within the franchise group and tell people, you know, about my experience. You know, in the hope that anyone who was out there that had been having issues, you know, might be, might be encouraged to go and seek help, you know. And subsequent to doing that at we have an annual convention and at our annual convention in August one of the keynote speakers spoke at length about depression. And so that was a really, a really good thing. 

 

But yeah, the experience of telling people about it, you know, I it's kind of two-fold. I mean it it's been really good because anyone we've told has been nothing but supportive, really supportive.

 

And then on the other side I feel good about talking about it, because I feel like I'm in a very small way helping other people, you know. Because, you know, clearly the more, the more mainstream the illness can be then the quicker people are going to acknowledge that they might have a problem and seek help, you know.

 

Stewart described his experiences with his GP and outlined what he thought every GP treating...

Well I think that firstly having a genuine interest in the illness and so therefore understanding the illness, which obviously she does. And, and, and being able to express, you know, to express that to a patient in such a way that, you know, the patient feels differently about it, you know. I mean I went in there very cynical, very, you know, I'm not, very negative and really I was looking at myself as only going in there because I'd reached rock bottom, you know, and I didn't know what else to do basically.

 

And her approach and attitude and understanding of the illness and understanding of the patient's experiences totally turned that around, you know. And it was the, I guess it's that credibility factor to a degree, like the way she questioned me about my feelings and, you know, and the examples that she used showed me immediately that she understood. 

 

And that, so then you, she's then got credibility in my mind, which means that I'm going to open up and listen more. And, you know, by the end of it she totally turned me around in terms of the way I was thinking about it.

 

So, you know, I think the, the key attributes for the for the GP are that firstly they do totally understand the, the problem and that they're willing to give more than the normal 10 minute appointment or whatever it is that they normally give, you know. Fast, fast food dot med- medical services. You know, and they're willing to spend that time and, and have the, have the tools and the skills to make the patient realise what the whole thing's all about. 

 

And you know, what causes it and why it's not something to be, I guess, ashamed of or, or negative about, you know, and that there is a path out, you know. Because by the time I walked out of there I was like, yes, look she knows what she's doing and I’m going to be okay.