Comodor - Interview 29

Age at interview: 77

Age at diagnosis: 65

Brief Outline: Comodor was diagnosed with depression in hospital after treatment for cancer. This came as a surprise to him. He is not currently taking antidepressant medication or undergoing counselling.

Background: Comodor is retired. He is married with two adult children. Ethnic background' Anglo Australian.

More about me...

 Comodor has had a varied and interesting career life, living and working overseas for a number of years and working across a variety of jobs. Gambling and the races were a big part of his childhood, and before his marriage he developed a gambling problem but overcame this after incurring some debts and seeking assistance from his family.

 

Eleven years ago Comodor was diagnosed with lung cancer. He spent four months in treatment and although he was given only six months to live he successfully recovered from surgery and radiation treatment. When he was discharged from the hospital Comodor saw on his hospital discharge form a note that said he was suffering depression. He remembers at the time that he thought this was ‘rubbish’ and he had never considered himself to be depressed.

 

After recovering for four months Comodor took up driving taxis and enjoyed this immensely. He later suffered temporal arthritis and macular degeneration in his eyes and had to quit driving taxis. This was an early retirement for Comodor. At this time his GP mentioned that he might be depressed, although Comodor did not think this was correct. His GP said that Comodor’s irregular sleeping patterns were a ‘sign of depression’, however he believes these sleeping patterns were due to his job driving taxis, which required him to work long hours. He saw a few psychiatrists who each prescribed different antidepressant medications. Comodor was not impressed with this as he found each medication made him sleep even longer. Comodor is not currently taking antidepressants.

 

The last psychiatrist Comodor saw told him that he thought he had a ‘form of depression that would not respond to medication’. He suggested he visit a men's support group, but he hasn’t been able to do this because of difficulties accessing it via public transport. Comodor cannot identify any other symptom that could point to having depression, other than his irregular sleeping patterns, but says that his GP and the psychiatrists he has consulted have convinced him he does ‘have depression’.

 

Comodor’s medical conditions, including emphysema, prevent him from exercising, which he loved to do before he became unwell. His relationship with his wife and sex life has deteriorated since his cancer, which he finds difficult. He describes good days as those where he feels mentally sharp. He thinks that being more socially active and exercising would be beneficial but this is difficult because of his medical condition. Comodor enjoys listening to the radio and finds this brings him great joy, and he also enjoys seeing his grandchildren.

Comodor was supportive of his wife having her own activities, but wished she showed more...

My wife isn't sure that I've got depression. So that's when we have a fight. Because if she doesn't think I've got depress, got depression I'm lazy. I won't get out of bed. But I've never been lazy in my life. During my working life I've never been lazy. I've enjoyed life, every bit of it.

 

So you think that that she maybe, she maybe doesn't understand you well?

 

Well, that would, that would be subject to two provisos. One is this that she accepts I've got depression and the second is that she would know what to do about it to help me, right?

 

But do you know how, how, in what way would you like to be supported by her? Like what would you ideally want from her yourself?

 

Better understanding I suppose, that's all. You see another thing that doesn't help the depression, makes it worse, since I lost the sight in one eye and this one has macular degeneration and I'm not active unless I have the oxygen machine. I've had to stop playing tennis. I've had to stop playing golf. I've had to stop playing outdoor bowls. I've got no sporting life at all. That's why I'm mad on sports on TV. I mean I used to be out three and four times a week - pardon me - from the…

 

From the lung.

 

…lung trying to get up.

 

So you miss - do you miss not being able to be outside, outdoors more?

 

Mm. It's getting harder and harder.

 

See I wouldn't like to live after, to look after me, right? And she's got to have a life of her own and I don't begrudge her at all. She plays bowls, she plays golf, she plays tennis, she plays bridge Fridays and Saturdays. She's a born organiser of mothers' clubs, right? Arranging lunches and everything else. And she spends Thursday afternoons at the local library, a volunteer. And she's got her church on a Sunday morning. She has a very active life and good on her, she'd need - she'd need to have an active life to put up with me, right? 

 

Comodor's psychiatrist suggested he join a support group, as he was resistant to other treatments...

The last psychiatrist I went to, I had been seeing him on and off for some two and a half years. And eventually he said he thought I had one of those 10 per cent depressions which are different to the bulk of 90 per cent. He said there are, one is a very general one - easily identified et cetera. He said, then there is yours which doesn't respond to any treatment. He said I think that's what you've got and he said, all I can suggest is that you go and join the [organisation name]

 

Yes. The only trouble with that was, with me blind I can't drive. They're over at [hospital name] to buggery, right? Over there, and I - too far to travel. It's three changes of transport. So I never got round to doing that.